If you want to stand out at work, stop worrying about acting cool in front of your colleagues, says workplace expert Henna Pryor.
Instead of trying to manage other people’s perceptions of you, focus on building “credibility and connections,” and adding value to your workplace — whether that’s taking notes in a meeting or helping a co-worker with a presentation, says Pryor, founder and CEO of Philadelphia-based leadership coaching firm Pryority Group.
“Your own personal map for career success is heavily dependent on the areas that you’re enthusiastic about, on the natural strengths that you have,” Pryor says.
Young workers especially may try to mimic their popular colleagues, or people on LinkedIn whose posts get a lot of likes — but you’ll grow your career and gain influence at work more effectively if you spend that same amount of time building your own relationships and strengths instead, says Pryor.
“If you get too hung up on somebody that you put on a pedestal and the way they got there … it will only take you so far,” she says. “Follow [your passions and strengths], not the path of a moving target of cool.”
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Posturing as cool presents another problem too, says Pryor: It doesn’t necessarily prove you’re a competent, easy-to-work-with employee. “Good people” are generally seen as calmer, more conscientious, agreeable and secure than “cool people,” marketing researchers found in a June 2025 study.
The best way to connect with your peers is to be authentic — act like yourself, without worrying what other people think of you — and ask for help when you need it, Pryor says. Asking for help or a favor from your co-workers can break the ice and open the door for a collaboration, she adds.
Seeking out your colleague’s opinion can also signal to them that you want to learn from them and build trust, communication expert Matt Abrahams told CNBC Make It in September 2024.
“Anytime you are listening, you’re doing yourself a service. You are showing the other person you’re here,” said Abrahams, a lecturer at Stanford University. Then, your question is more likely to feel like you’re “inviting the other person to collaborate, and solving the problem [together] helps you foster that relationship in the long-term.”
If asking for help on a large project seems daunting, try taking advantage of small opportunities, whether in the elevator or sending voice memos over slack, to build a rapport with your peers, Pryor says.
Perhaps ironically, caring primarily about the people around you and the quality of your work may, by result, make you look cooler without even trying, says Pryor: “The line between being cringe and being cool comes down to ownership … not caring if other people approve of your choices.”
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